i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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