Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
