Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
