At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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