I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
