My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
