that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
