what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
