if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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