dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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