is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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