Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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