All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
