I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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