were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
