I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
