I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
