Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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