So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
