every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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