how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
