Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
