WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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