I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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