I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
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Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
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Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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