She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
