I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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