I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
