Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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