is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
