woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
