What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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