There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
