Sry I called you an 8
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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