I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
