This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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