How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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