you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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