First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
