You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
