saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
