There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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