I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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