Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
