I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
