Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
