so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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