I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
