god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
