he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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