I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
