Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
worst night to have a conscience
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think your dad took our porno
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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