I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
