that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
