I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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