Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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