my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
