I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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